Life, Social Commentary

Revenge of the Ping

Hey, anybody out there who can relate to this? Anyone who can’t? I salute you!


I’ll make this quick – today, I planned for a totally productive night of getting shit done. I was gonna review my budget, research some investments, blog a little bit, and organize my articles. Yeah, I can tell that you’re totally jealous of my ridiculously awesome life of sex, drugs and alcohol.

But it all started going downhill from work – First, I was given a big task to do in the morning. Instead of focusing on that, I spent my day answering emails, attending discussions, customizing templates, and intermittently going back to that task. And then my colleagues mucked around at the snack corner so of course I had to join them for that. And so I had to work late, and I decided to reward myself with a Swensen’s dinner (come here you, chicken baked rice and US fries and dips, you!), and then I decided…

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Humor, Life

Thought(s) for the Day or Why I Want To Take A Nap (reprinted)

My Note:   I read this on the Quilt Art list this morning and thought I would die laughing.  With June Underwood’s kind permission I am sharing it with all of my readers.  Do yourself a favor and take a look at June’s work as well – wonderful!

Let’s see: why do I suddenly want to curl up in my closet — let me
count the ways:

1. I should keep a journal, an orderly journal, one which starts at the
first page of the handmade book (that I made, of course) and finishes at
the last page. Each page should have text and at least one drawing and
perhaps some photos and fabric as memorabilia.

2. I should blog every day, incorporating both text and photos,
inspirational sayings, links to other great blogs, and links to Amazon
for books I think others should read. I should also read books.

3. I should list my hopes, aspirations, and goals for the year, break
them down into daily, weekly, monthly segments, make up an excel sheet,
and write every day (in my computer, not in my journal) what I’ve
accomplished in these areas.

4. I definitely should do strengthening exercises so I can lift my
carry-ons into the overhead compartments, should I ever want to carry on
luggage again. Or use the airlines, for that matter.

5. I should walk at least 4 times a week, alternating days with swimming
or biking through Portland’s streets in order to sharpen my defensive
skills against open doors and crazed drivers and to keep my hair
straw-dry and my feet mud-wet.

6. I should vacuum the studio once a week. I should vacuum the kitchen
twice a day. I should be sure to get the dust mites up before they get
up me.

7. I should eat a good breakfast with protein and blueberries. I should
have only 1/2 cup of coffee if I think I can’t live without it, which I

8. I should eat a good lunch with whole grains and citrus. No coffee. 16
oz of water.

9. I should eat a very very light dinner with no wine, no dessert, and
lots of fish. No coffee. 32 oz of water.

10. I should go to the studio every day, even if it’s only to vacuum.

11. I should blog on two blogs, one personal and one artsy. Both should
contain photos of my recent trips (walking around the neighborhood
counts) and my recent art (drawings in the dust mites is OK).

12. I should be on Facebook at least 5 times a day, posting about my art
as well as my vacuuming.

13. I should be on Google Plus at least twice a day discussing the
nature of post-modernism and whether Titian used holographic devices and
allowing Google to send these posts to all the email folks in my gmail
accounts (this in addition to my Google Plus Circle friends).

14. I should grow my own vegetables, particularly as I am fortunate
enough to live in a climate where year-round gardening is almost
possible, if one has greenhouses and cold frames and doesn’t mind hoeing
when it’s 35 degrees and raining.

15. I should prune my own fruit trees, when I’m not painting the parlor
and/or fixing the roof.

16. I should learn all the options on Facebook and set them according to
a complex set of rules about who should and who should not read about
the inability of my toilet to flush.

17. I should buy an iPhone so I can learn how to use cell phones in the
most sophisticated manner and thus be ready to join in conversations
about how wonderful the iPhone is.

18. I should buy an iPad so I can learn how it doesn’t like PCs, which
then would lead me to buying a MAC and starting all over with all my
documents, photos and email addresses, transferring these via the
unusable cable from PC to MAC as well as buying programs that I already
have for the PC that don’t transfer on the unusable cable to the MAC.
Then I can write blogs and post to FB and Google Plus about how
wonderful the iPad is.

19.  I should apply for grants, for residencies, for group exhibits, for
solo exhibits, and to be allowed to wrap the Sellwood Bridge in silk so
it doesn’t fall down before the new one is built.

20. I should learn musical composition, video recording and editing,
woodworking, encaustics, and the chemical makeup of dyes in order that I
can enhance my art. I should also buy a full set of drawers for beads
and feathers and bling-bling, which I can then buy and put away in
color-coded, size-delimited containers, and vacuum every day. Then I can
learn all about watercolor — brands as well as pigments — and oils
paints, which I should use.

21. I should subscribe to all the appropriate professional journals, on
and off the computer, and make up a marketing plan, having in place a
portfolio (fully up to date, and updated every day to account for what I
did the day before), a resume (see last parenthesis), and an artist’s
statement for each piece of art I do (see parenthesis before the last
parenthesis). The marketing plan should be separate from goals,
aspirations, and hopes, because it’s marketing, which must take into
account customers, fads, colors of the year, and venues that would
actually sell any art I made. These should be placed on an excel sheet
so the marketable elements can be checked off; this will save Medicare a
lot of money.

22. Oh, and I should make some art.

But before any of that, I think I’ll go lie down with a wet washrag on
my forehead.


Sorry. I couldn’t resist. I should be more humble, more laconic, and
more earnest.

June O. Underwood
Art blog:
Personal blog:

Grandchildren, Humor, Life

My 10 Year Old Granddaughter Gets Her First Email Account

My 10 year old granddaughter Abby has been wanting her own email account for ages (big sis has one)  and yesterday her parents allowed her to go ahead and set one up.  Like most grandmas do, I think everything they do is hugely cute and clever (in this case it is, LOL)  and really need to share the back and forth conversation we had.  Just to link this to quilting 🙂 both girls have been the recipients of quilts that I have made over the past several years and are ongoing inspirations!

from Abby to me:  Saturday morning early 9/24

im so happy that i have a gmail account now, its

abby on her account! can you belive it?

anyways i was wondering,, could you mabey give me some emailing tips?thanks grandma honey!

Guila Greer to Abby
     Sep 24 (2 days ago)

Abby I am so excited that you have your OWN account – this is SOOOOOOO  great.
I’m going to be picked up by friends to go to a quilt show in a few minutes so I can’t give you the tips right now or the news but I’ll be back later!!!!!

love love love
Grandma Honey

Abby Greer to me
show details Sep 24 (1 day ago)

When you get home and check your email account I want you to now i love you,  hugs and kisses (or xoxoxo).

A little later in the afternoon

Abby Greer to me
Sep 24 (1 day ago)

hey are you back yet grandma honey?

Guila Greer to Abby
                Sep 24 (1 day ago)

Hi Abby, I just got back!!!

Abby Greer to me
                    Sep 24 (1 day ago)


Guila Greer to Abby
                        Sep 24 (1 day ago)

OK, so ya want some email tips.  OK here we go.

The thing you need to be most concerned about is a VIRUS.  These most often come in the form of an attachment.  This might even be disguised as coming from someone you know.

So, don’t open an attachment that you are not expecting without checking with a grownup.

Something else you don’t want is a lot of SPAM.  So if you get a spam email ask someone to show you how to BLOCK that spam so next time it will go right to your spam folder.

Never give private information in an email from someone who isn’t a good friend or family member. (Or even from them if it looks “funny”.)   It could be someone doing what is called “PHISHING” for private info for Identity Theft.
Again -if in doubt, ask a grownup.

Make sure you re-read what you send before you hit the send button: once it’s gone, it’s gone!

Sometimes if you’re not sure what you want to say (let’s say you’re angry with a friend and you want to tell them to jump in the lake).  It’s good to write a “draft”  (click on Save Draft) – then go back to it and review before you decide if you really want to send it.  You may have changed your mind.

What questions do you have for me?

I’m going to take a 20 minute power nap.  then I’ll check in again.

love, love, love you!!!!!  🙂       ❤ ❤ ❤


thanks i’ll keep those things in mind. hugs kisses and food.

Guila Greer to Abby
2:14 PM (7 hours ago)

You’re welcome Abby!!
So, are you enjoying being able to email people?  I’m sure you must be.  If you want to email Poppy his email address is:

We just finished having a yard sale – wasn’t too bad, made a few buckaroos, haha.

hugs, kisses and food to you too 🙂
love you lots!!

Abby Greer to me
show details 2:35 PM (7 hours ago)

Thanks i’ll keep that in mind, rock grandma honey! weell, i’ll see you later, i guess.