I guess it’s traditional to contemplate the year just past as we look forward to the shiny ball falling in Times Square. Please indulge me for a couple of minutes as I do that and get a little personal.
Remember Tale of Two Cities by Dickens and how it started? …I will paraphrase…….it was the best of years, it was the worst of years……
This year, 2011, lots of things came to a head for me as unresolved matters from years past piled up to the point where they had to start tumbling down. And tumble they did – with a resounding crash that woke me out of the doldrums and shook off years of accumulated denial and avoidance. I had experienced numerous losses of loved ones including my entire birth family over the course of several years but had never allowed myself to fully grieve the way one needs to. Well, somehow, my guardian angel recognized this and kicked me in the butt as much as to say get on with it already.
And so I did. And here is where the Dickensian character of the year becomes apparent. While going through the delayed grieving process was indeed painful – all those stored up feelings were allowed to surface – the result was unexpected and welcome.
I feel like the ‘real’ me emerged – the genuine Guila – probably more accurate to say the ‘rest’ of who I am. I have always been someone who loves to be creative –to use my imagination and play with design, with color, with words, with ideas. But this time I allowed myself to just go with it and to see where it would take me without self censoring without self criticism. The discoveries that I made thrilled me no end – having an aptitude for art that goes beyond needle and thread is a new idea for me.
And that brings me to today and to anticipation of the year ahead. While 2011 was a year of discovery, I look forward to 2012 as a year to concentrate on learning, on practicing and refining these newly discovered skills. And to focus on developing my art related business at the same time. This isn’t Paris of the 19th century and I do not have a patron. So the business part is vital to allow me the ability to stay planted on the creative path and to put down roots there.
This is a very exciting journey. The support of my friends and readers and your encouragement is vital and I am so thankful for all of you. Please stick around for the ride! It’s going to be lots of fun.
My heartfelt wishes to all of you for a Happy and Healthy 2012. May all your dreams come true!